THE TRUTH ABOUT CINDERELLA
by shadowJewel © 1999

Now, let’s get a few things straight here. Cinderella wasn’t any innocent when she married that prince of hers.  Actually, they really didn’t get married.  Oh, they stood on the podium, but told the old priest there to fake it.

You see, Cinde found out that her old Prince Charming was the biggest pimp in town.  How did she find this out?  Let me tell you.

Just tell me what you thought ole Cinde was doing at that fireplace all those years?   She sure as hell wasn’t telling all her troubles to the smoke stack.  You see, there was this chink on the back side of the fireplace.  Late at night, when all the others in the house were sound asleep, she would go down to the fireplace and wait for customers.  She was an expert at getting the horny men in the village off at night.   And she was making a pretty good living at it.  This chick didn’t settle for a pence or two for her services.  She was charging the going rate for the day and getting paid in gold florins.  She was the first of the unseen sex goddesses.  By the time that damned ball came around, this chick has amassed a fortune and hid it under the boards in the kitchen.  No wonder she didn’t want the Stepty Ug-mother or those Stepty Ug-sisters wandering around in her domain.  She had a bigger fortune than that old man of hers, who left it all to the gold-digging Stepty Ug-mother.

You see, Cinde had this regular.  He would appear every night about midnight.  Business with him was so good, and he was wanting some different stuff than she was giving the others.  Needless to say she really charged him for it.   He got so hooked on the chink chick that he finally confided one day that he was running low on cash.  Cinde suggested that for every 10 customers he sent her way, she would do him once for free.  Well, this john got so busy recruiting business for Cinde that by the time she found that shoe outside the fireplace, this guy had amassed a whole month of chink chats.  You see, this guy had a shoe fetish.  Every night he would bring this glass slipper with him and do, Cinde had no idea, whatever while she was doing her chink chat thing with him.

Well, to make a long story longer, Cinde found this shoe outside one morning when she was cleaning up after a hard night’s work.  Not long after, the ball came along.  Just for the heck of it and to piss of the stepty-ugs, Cinde decided to go.  After all, she had the cash to do it.  So she contacted her favorite fairy, this guy known as the Godmother, and ordered a dress from him.  It was delivered just before everyone left.

Now, Cinde didn’t want to miss her best customer, so she went flying out of this hall just about midnight.  In her rush, she ended up losing that slipper of hers.  Godmother had seen the one she had found outside the fireplace and liked it so much he had ones just like it made for Cinde.  She had been dancing with this real dip-stick prince when she realized she had to fly.  He followed her and found the shoe she lost in her haste.

There was something strange about that prince.  Instead of following Cinde down the hall, this jerk stopped and picked up the shoe and held it to his breast.   There was something mega weird with this princeling.

Cinde’s regular didn’t show up that night.  But he did the following.  That’s when the chink chick found out that this guy was the Prince.   He went on and on, ad nauseum, about having to find this chick who lost this shoe.   He had fallen in love with someone who had his same fetish.  Well, Cinde decided she didn’t really want to have anything to do with this jerk, other than the chink chat, so she kept her mouth shut for a while.  But what does this guy do?   He announces his fetish to the entire world!  And he starts a search for “the lady who will fit the shoe.”  Cinde lets this go on for quite a while until she has had enough of this silliness.  When the Prince finally shows up at her house, Cinde decides to have some fun with him.

After letting the stepty-ugs try to get their huge feet into the slipper, Cinde decides it’s time to drop the bomb.  In her working clothes, she steps forward and slithers her foot into the shoe.  The look on the Prince’s face could have stopped a clock.   The old coo-coo clock in the hall let out one coo and was never heard from again.  And to add a little power to the bomb, Cinde pulls out this other shoe from outside the fireplace.  Now, the good ole prince really knows who this chick is.

Everyone in the kingdom is happy the prince is happy…except Cinde.   She really doesn’t want a personal relationship with this dude  The business one is fine, but the other…no way.  So, she and he have this long talk.   For appearance sake, they go through with the mock ceremony.  Daddy is happy.   Stepty-ug mother is happy.  Everyone is happy.

But what really happened is that Cinde and the Prince formalized their business arrangement.  Not only did he round up all the locals, but he started sending all visiting dignitaries to the chink chick.I  n fact, business got so good, Cinde had to put on more help.

By this time the stepty-ugs were in some financial trouble.  Cinde wasn’t feeling all that generous toward them.  But she did decide to give them a chance and work for her.  At first they were horrified.  Then they found out how much money they would be making.  Now, stepty-ug mother wasn’t really into the through the chink thing.  She conned Cinde to setting up the castle they lived in as a “home for willful girls.”  She made a great madame.  She was nasty enough to keep the girls in line but well enough versed in the ways of court that she could charm the visiting dignitaries to spend a few nights with her girls.  She was the original Mayflower Madame before there was even a Mayflower.

But there was this problem with the stepty-ug sisters.  They were so ugly that no one would touch them.  They had definitely been beaten by an ugly stick at birth.  So, Cinde put them to work on chink duty.  Boy, did these two take to the work.  They were so good that another chink had to be opened in one of the other fireplaces.  Stepty-ug 1 was good.  She could get through with a chink chat in less than 15 minutes.  She was brining in the florins.  But it was Stepty-ug 2 who really proved her worth.  Her chink chats were longer…but far more lucrative.  She became an expert in every kind of fetish known in the village and even a few that weren’t…she introduced them.  This ugly chick was so good that by the end of the first year, she was ready to open a castle of her own.  Cinde financed the castle and had enough ground floor fireplaces put in that Stepty-ug 2 had to hire a whole crew and train them.  Money was flowing in.

What happened to the Prince?  Well, Cinde finally decided that their financial arrangement was not too great.  This dude was siphoning off a lot of cash to feed his fetish and not really contributing too much to the on-going operation.  Cinde had to dump him.

And she lived happily ever after.

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